(doorbell)
Me: hello
Him: hi (! - how modern), I'm your (newish, youngish shinyish Tory) local councillor, just calling to see if there are any problems you have that I can help with?
Me: Well, I have a few problems, not sure you can help with them though...
Him: Try me!
Me: Why, do you help people with their mental health problems now?
Him: Erm... well, no, I meant do you have any issues in the area that I can perhaps help you with?
Me: Well, I do get frightened of my neighbours.
Him: Why's that then?
Me: I don't think you can help with that can you?
Him: Well, if there isn't anything else, just get in touch if you think of anything else, here's a leaflet. I just live up the road.
Me: Oh, just up the road (named road)?
Him: Er, no, further up.
Me: Oh, on (named the road a bit further away but still on the dodgy estate that I live on)
Him: Er, no, a bit further than that.
Me: so not really local then...
Him: See you then, get in touch anytime, can I just ask, is there any chance that you will be voting for us on May 5th?
Me: I don't think there is any chance that I will be voting for you or your party.
Him: (backing away down the path) No chance? Ok bye then.
Please don't come to my door. I don't make sense. Equally, you don't make sense. That doesn't mean we understand each other. I don't want to talk to you about local issues that only become very important to you around election times. I find the door bell going very triggery.
I think you did an outstanding job. :)
ReplyDeleteha ha! I might have to write a brief post later about my diatribe in the bank today! At least you were sensible, coherent and restrained. I was a disgrace, yet again. I would have probably fired my pellet gun at him given my current mood . i've only ever had the opportunity to shoot the bastards on Question time (on the telly of course).
ReplyDeleteGood on you.
xx
Thanks both. I just wish I could think on my feet, since he left I have thought of several things I wish I'd said. Lucida, good for you in the bank! x
ReplyDeleteI find votechasers like that really rude. 1) They don't 'do' anything anyway to change where you live. 2) I don't see it's right for them to care whenever the voting is coming up, then disappear once they've won you over.
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