petrified

I am petrified, unable to write due to fear of being "seen", recognised, of my anonymity disappearing. But maybe I will try again after a break? This is the third blog I have tried to write, each time retreating with the same fear, I don't want to fail again as I do think it is a way to connect with others while it remains so hard in "real" life.

...shit

I don't know what to write, there is so much in my head and am in turmoil but feel too cautious to say what's going on. Anonymity is precious. How to protect? How to vent safely?
Today I have let myself down. Things got too much and I needed a pressure release. I cut for the first time in a while. It felt fantastic and despicable. And now another thing to hide from people. So, yeah, shit today.