...that sometimes it's ok to be still

After chasing after my head, feeling unsafe if I sat down or worrying about what I hadn't done or what I should or shouldn't be doing, I NEEDed time to stop today. That is what I've done this afternoon. It has helped so much. The world hasn't collapsed because the sofa is warm from my sitting on it in the afternoon sun, my head is just about on my shoulders. This has been a couple of hours of "just" being, a huge challenge at times like now, but very welcome. I have been thinking about a new art project. Am looking at mixed media, something I haven't tried properly before and am relating it to some of the stuff in therapy. 
I feel so busy which makes me feel guilty for mentioning and and and will sound ridiculous to those who are at work. Stuff to do: many appointments, keeping up with my own demands upon myself, gym, therapy homework, clean freaking. I have been on full time distraction for weeks. I have hardly slept over an hour a night for several weeks and am feeling it badly. But I need to remember that there is a reason for needing to distract myself and that being so tired is natural when so sleep deprived and physically pushing myself in the hope of finding the missing sleep.
Stopping is good sometimes. Please slow down my busy head. 

... exhausted

Today I feel exhausted. My head gymnastics are wearing me out so thought I would spend the day wearing myself out physically, becoming perfectly congruent inside and out somehow...
Domestic chores started early this morning, I seem to start one job and mid way through start on something else, forgetting what I was doing before so again start anew, so by the end of my self imposed finish "that's enough" point, it took ages to clear up all the chaos I'd caused during tidying. I then went to the gym. Sometimes it's a punishment, sometimes it's an achievement, sometimes it's just routine, but I need to go. I never look forward to going but am always glad when I've been. But, I've done too much. Exhausted. Worried that I've made things worse, as not sure I have the energy to deal with my head. But the weekend is nearly done, that's a positive.