...lots of things

Feelings feel like flashes, no idea what they are called or how to describe, am challenged to name them, to talk about them. How to do them. Am I emotionally illiterate. Feelings dominate my life and I am in their grip.
I am in a bad place, reacting to feelings, things that I have said that I can't process. Or, rather, I am trying, through "unhealthy means"

Feelings, or words that I should be able to connect to at the moment might be:
angry, resentful, frustrated, sad, desperate, lonely, bereft, isolated, misunderstood, lost, frightened.

The list becomes meaningless, I don't understand how much pain one can experience and yet not be able to voice this or for this to be evident to others.
"I AM FINE"

Thank you Atos

Thanks very much. I wanted to have a day today that was more peaceful for my head. To catch up with how I feel (I find it hard to work out how I feel while involved/busy with things, the feelings emerge later and need time). But no, I am in a tizz. ESA medical questionnaire has arrived. It only seems five minutes since the last one came, but it is six months, so was to be expected. Only I had blocked it out. No more to say. I am glad that I am being checked up on. It is good for my soaring guilt levels. But, I also despise the whole thing. I want to get better, I am working on it hard. The envelope bumping through the letter box made my heart sink, it shouldn't scare me so much, but it really really does.