Twice now I have looked at the DLA consultation which ends on 14 February. The first time I read most of the document (took ages, hard to take it all in) and planned to think about it and go back and respond. The second time, I read a bit more and wanted to add my response. But I haven't. I feel unable to respond. I feel frightened by authority at the best of times. Paranoia about cctv, police, post from anywhere "official" etc doesn't help when I am asked to register my details on a consultation form where what I want to say may be seen as criticism rather than comment, questions I want to ask rather than answers to questions I am asked. I am scared of the backlash. What if those who do respond to the consultation are then denied benefits because of the comments made?
I wanted to urge those making the changes to include the need for mental health specialists to be involved in the application form, assessment, and review process. I wanted to remind/tell them that my mental health, and that of many others, can fluctuate within the day, hour by hour. Sometimes I can do things, other times I can't. I don't want those who are invisibly disabled to society at large to be left unsupported as our needs cannot be easily seen or described.
I am ashamed of my fear but my fear won't let me respond.
Showing posts with label welfare reform. Show all posts
Showing posts with label welfare reform. Show all posts
Friday, 21 January 2011
Saturday, 15 January 2011
One month before heartbreak post
http://onemonthbeforeheartbreak.blogspot.com/
I have no idea if I have posted the link properly above, (dinosaur me), but just want to credit the fact that I heard about the One Month Before Heartbreak idea through reading Karita's great post on If Narky, Feed Profusely and an idea from Phil Groom? If anyone can point me in the direction of crediting/linking properly that would be so kind, if anyone is in fact reading. Thankyou.
I have a postcard on my fridge door. I have had it for years and it came as a birthday card a long time ago. Somehow while I was making tea in the early hours, it got me thinking about this post, and this DLA disaster about to happen, the big society idea etc. I like the sound of the big society in some ways, the idea of communities coming together, working together, increasing tolerance and understanding. But, providing services that otherwise will be lost due to cuts, relying on volunteers to excess, no. I don't understand how the party who dreamt this Big Society up can genuinely look people in the eye and say that they were also the party whose leader in the past said "there is no such thing as society".
The postcard: A long dining table with benches on 3 sides, each with many small white rabbits sitting on them. A larger (adult?) rabbit is standing at the 4th side of the table, holding a very large carrot in one paw, and is about to cut up the carrot with a knife, presumably to feed the many other smaller rabbits.
This may sound strange, please forgive me. But I got to thinking, always dangerous. The bigger / adult rabbit who is standing up -or the one that seems to be in charge (she looks kind and friendly so not sure I can make the leap to a comparison with the ConDems but anyway...) seems to be providing for the other, smaller rabbits, who are waiting to be fed, they don't have any food of their own. They are looking expectantly, but none of them is grabbing for the food or fighting for it.
I am not too well at the moment but I am not a small white rabbit, that I do know. And I can go and get food. I can cut it up. In that respect I am absolutely fine. However, I am not able to work at the moment, supported by several mh professionals. I live on ESA and DLA. This isn't what I want or what I planned to happen for me. I have lost four jobs (so far) due to my mental ill health. I want to work and get to a place where I can do that sustainably without lurching between crises. I want to be independent. I want to be able to provide carrots for those who cannot provide them for themselves and one day I hope this is achievable. But I do need time to be able to get there, and without DLA I doubt that I could keep my tiny HA flat or get to appointments, activities that aim to support me.
What if one of those rabbits (or one in four) is accidentally missed out, or missed out on purpose and doesn't get his/her slice of carrot to sustain him/her until the next meal? What if s/he lacks confidence to ask for help, what if s/he is too ashamed to ask because others might say s/he doesn't deserve the carrot? What if what if what if. I am trying to make a point, and failing, but on I go...
DLA is the carrot. It is necessary to provide for those who can't provide for themselves, whether this is long or short term. I fear that for those with mental health issues, issues that we can't see and which many do not want to see or acknowledge, DLA will become "unnecessary" as of course many of us are mobile or not deemed to be in greatest need.
I have gone on long enough. The idea made sense, I doubt the post does, but, there, I tried.
I have no idea if I have posted the link properly above, (dinosaur me), but just want to credit the fact that I heard about the One Month Before Heartbreak idea through reading Karita's great post on If Narky, Feed Profusely and an idea from Phil Groom? If anyone can point me in the direction of crediting/linking properly that would be so kind, if anyone is in fact reading. Thankyou.
I have a postcard on my fridge door. I have had it for years and it came as a birthday card a long time ago. Somehow while I was making tea in the early hours, it got me thinking about this post, and this DLA disaster about to happen, the big society idea etc. I like the sound of the big society in some ways, the idea of communities coming together, working together, increasing tolerance and understanding. But, providing services that otherwise will be lost due to cuts, relying on volunteers to excess, no. I don't understand how the party who dreamt this Big Society up can genuinely look people in the eye and say that they were also the party whose leader in the past said "there is no such thing as society".
The postcard: A long dining table with benches on 3 sides, each with many small white rabbits sitting on them. A larger (adult?) rabbit is standing at the 4th side of the table, holding a very large carrot in one paw, and is about to cut up the carrot with a knife, presumably to feed the many other smaller rabbits.
This may sound strange, please forgive me. But I got to thinking, always dangerous. The bigger / adult rabbit who is standing up -or the one that seems to be in charge (she looks kind and friendly so not sure I can make the leap to a comparison with the ConDems but anyway...) seems to be providing for the other, smaller rabbits, who are waiting to be fed, they don't have any food of their own. They are looking expectantly, but none of them is grabbing for the food or fighting for it.
I am not too well at the moment but I am not a small white rabbit, that I do know. And I can go and get food. I can cut it up. In that respect I am absolutely fine. However, I am not able to work at the moment, supported by several mh professionals. I live on ESA and DLA. This isn't what I want or what I planned to happen for me. I have lost four jobs (so far) due to my mental ill health. I want to work and get to a place where I can do that sustainably without lurching between crises. I want to be independent. I want to be able to provide carrots for those who cannot provide them for themselves and one day I hope this is achievable. But I do need time to be able to get there, and without DLA I doubt that I could keep my tiny HA flat or get to appointments, activities that aim to support me.
What if one of those rabbits (or one in four) is accidentally missed out, or missed out on purpose and doesn't get his/her slice of carrot to sustain him/her until the next meal? What if s/he lacks confidence to ask for help, what if s/he is too ashamed to ask because others might say s/he doesn't deserve the carrot? What if what if what if. I am trying to make a point, and failing, but on I go...
DLA is the carrot. It is necessary to provide for those who can't provide for themselves, whether this is long or short term. I fear that for those with mental health issues, issues that we can't see and which many do not want to see or acknowledge, DLA will become "unnecessary" as of course many of us are mobile or not deemed to be in greatest need.
I have gone on long enough. The idea made sense, I doubt the post does, but, there, I tried.
Thursday, 11 November 2010
...cold
... and wet, and wanting to hibernate. The weather is wild outside. My head is feeling fragile/too "borderline" and things feel a bit wild inside too. Far too many appointments this week, so glad have nothing fixed on tomorrow so am planning a day of catch up. I don't want to see anyone, explain how I feel, talk about mental health or have to leave the flat if I don't want to. Scary weather makes this a very likely scenario. My sleep is not good. 3 hours is a "good" night at the moment which isn't good at all. Insomnia allows voices and flashbacks in more too, so weary. I'd like a break, but then some might say my entire existence is a break. Yes, paranoia from the media coverage of welfare reform is getting to me big time. But not tomorrow please, a mini break tomorrow would be fine.
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